Breaking News: MJ & Elvis Sighted

Breaking News: Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley were seen together last night at a Dallas area Chuck E. Cheese as shown in this photo ...

One, to Go, Please!

I saw this walking through the supermarket this morning, and being me, I read it in a way that was not intended. In my mind it was not a package of six foot-long hot dog buns, it was six-foot-long hot dog buns. Which would require one heckuva hot dog to fill it. Just one, please!

It's a Van Thing!

I posted a photo of a well-stickered van a few weeks ago and I snapped this even more garishly decorated van this morning. It must be some kind of a van-owner thing I don't get.



Somebody should introduce these people to Twitter or Facebook.

I Got Another Pair Just Like 'Em

About a block and a half away from home, I had a feeling something wasn't quite right at the bottom end of my legs.

Nothing wrong with my mind, huh? Give me the nuclear trigger!

Bad Einstein

I created this image at Hetemeel.com. You can change the text on this image to whatever you like.

Simply change the text in a form text box, then click on "preview image". The text in the image will change accordingly.

There are links to other similar dynamic images, as well.

It's Wabbit Season!

I snapped these bunny-eared Easter celebrants enjoying themselves in the local Panera Bread store.

Soul Wow with Father Vic

I saw this on Good Morning America today and felt compelled to share it.

Father Vic and Soul Wow ...

Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer is best known for the funny, satirical songs he wrote and performed in the 1950s and 60s. He was a student of mathematics at Harvard (He earned his BA in 1947 at the age of 18.) where he began writing humorous songs to entertain his friends. His songs were often parodies of popular songs such as in "The Elements", where he sets the names of the chemical elements to the tune of the "Major-General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance.

It's rumored he invented the J-ello shot during his time in the Army working at the NSA in the mid-1950s. Lehrer taught his last math class at the University of California at Santa Cruz in 2001.

Link to my YouTube Tom Lehrer playlist

I think I really need a new washer

Danish commercial (NSFW-nudity) for a Siemans washing machine ...

Link:

Uploaded by uberlinkert

All I Want for Christmas is ...

From Saturday Night Live: Calculator - Two brothers with a single Christmas wish

Daily Video #8 - Nothing Like a Tightly Run Operation

This sign is in a sandwich shop/convenience store in Bellwood, PA. It's funny, but some businesses (not this one) are run this way.

You'll have to use Pause to read it all.

The Verbosity of Joe Biden

This is fantastic! Go, Joe!

The face of our next President?

The face of our next President?

Want to be More Popular

Do you wish you were more popular? Are you unhappy because you can't sit at the cool table?

Then this video is the answer to your pain ...

Thanks to topsurf

The NEW Math Redux

This video based on a Tom Lehrer song is very funny if somewhat dated.

Thanks to Tor Erling

I wonder what would happen if you tried to hold them to this offer?Less than 50 cents a meal! That IS what the sign says.
Grammar Police! Grammar Police!

I got my updated Sheetz MasterCard a couple of days ago. I find it ironic that the expiration date is 7/11.

Man Pays Water Bill with Check Written on Toilet Paper

An upstate New York man embroiled in a dispute over his water bill is not being allowed to pay off his debt with a check written on toilet paper. Ron Borgna tried to settle his $2,509.66 bill with a check written on floral print, two-ply toilet paper Wednesday.

It has always been my understanding that a check that included all the necessary information and was properly signed had to be honored regardless of what it was written on.

Read more ...
Man writes check on 2-ply toilet paper - - msnbc.com

Fifty Years On ...

A friend emailed this to me this morning ...

SCHOOL -- 1958 vs. 2008

Scenario : Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1958 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1958 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1958 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2008 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister tells state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school .

1958 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2008 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario : Pedro fails high school English.

1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1958 - Ants die.

2008 - ATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1958 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

It's truth is what makes it so funny!

WKRP Thanksgiving Promotion Episode

Fans of WKRP in Cincinnati will remember the classic episode in which the station drops turkeys from a helicopter over a shopping mall in a Thanksgiving promo.